Dear Ava, We have moved to a new neighborhood, and our next door neighbor has become an obtrusive burden. Sometimes I look out and find her weeding my flowerbeds. If I’m ever working in my yard, she won’t leave me alone. She talks to me until I go back inside or until I let her help me. The annoying part is that when she helps, she tries to be the boss and tells me what to do. I have caught this woman looking in my windows, and on one occasion I was getting dressed when she was peeping! Once, she saw me inside when she was looking through my windows, and yelled that she “had a question” for me. I told her to go home and use the telephone. She has not gotten our hints at backing off, so what should we do? -Jeff
Dear Jeff, It is time for you to view this annoyance as a legal situation. Keep a log of your neighbor’s trespassing and peeping. Stop “hinting” and lay out some plainly explained rules for your neighbor. Post a no trespassing sign. Tell your neighbor that the next time you catch her looking through your windows, you will call the police. Explain that her behavior is creepy and is a violation of your privacy. Then follow through with your threat. If she peeps in your house again, call the police. It’s unlikely that you’ll be able to maintain any sort of casual relationship with a person that doesn‘t understand normal boundaries, so your best bet is to keep cool and distant. If your neighbor approaches you when you are working outside, tell her you are busy and don‘t have time to talk. When she lingers, say goodbye and go back inside. Even if she returns when you resume your yard work, repeat the same response. Eventually your neighbor will understand than you wish to keep your distance. Stay civil, but aloof, and explain that you value your privacy when she asks why you are being distant. Lastly, consider getting any of the following: block out window coverings, a guard dog, a lockable privacy fence, and as a last resort, a restraining order.
