The cold that I had been nursing moved into my lungs and kicked off my own personal “March Madness“. Every year I get sick in the spring and the doctor confirmed that I had bronchitis. Medication was an unusually rigorous chore, as my condition was deteriorating just as my pharmacy was undergoing a similar meltdown. They were happy to take my prescription, but their phones were down and could not file my insurance.
I returned home, exhausted, after visiting another busy pharmacy. Restricted airflow was slowing my brain , I turned on the television and flopped on the couch. Wheezing, I blinked and weighed the option of continuing to watch “Celebrity Rehab” verses getting back up and digging for the remote from the recesses of the sofa. Blink. Wheeze. Blink. I had to find the remote. The “sick day” is a failure if a remote cannot be located.
This event underscored my belief that television programming is in great need of a new channel. Please allow me to propose Sick Day TV. Ideally, SDTV programming would consist of slightly dumb movies that everyone has seen multiple times. This would allow for a nap in the middle of a film, without creating confusion for viewers when they eventually wake up and return to the movie. SDTV should be free of subtitles, laborious plots or anything else that would tax the brains of sick persons. To accommodate those with an upset stomach, graphic violence, shaky camera work and frantic action should also be avoided. In addition, commercials should never air at a volume that is louder that the movie that they interrupt.
Possible movies could include:
I returned home, exhausted, after visiting another busy pharmacy. Restricted airflow was slowing my brain , I turned on the television and flopped on the couch. Wheezing, I blinked and weighed the option of continuing to watch “Celebrity Rehab” verses getting back up and digging for the remote from the recesses of the sofa. Blink. Wheeze. Blink. I had to find the remote. The “sick day” is a failure if a remote cannot be located.
This event underscored my belief that television programming is in great need of a new channel. Please allow me to propose Sick Day TV. Ideally, SDTV programming would consist of slightly dumb movies that everyone has seen multiple times. This would allow for a nap in the middle of a film, without creating confusion for viewers when they eventually wake up and return to the movie. SDTV should be free of subtitles, laborious plots or anything else that would tax the brains of sick persons. To accommodate those with an upset stomach, graphic violence, shaky camera work and frantic action should also be avoided. In addition, commercials should never air at a volume that is louder that the movie that they interrupt.
Possible movies could include:
- Problem Child
- The Princess Bride
- Captain Ron
- Romancing The Stone
- True Lies (yes this is an action packed movie, but the action sequences appear mostly in slow motion)
photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/phrenzee/ / CC BY 2.0
Funny. I'd like to see bugs bunny cartoons on sick day tv.
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